Comedian, Ayobami Ayo-Ajewole, aka Woli Agba, and his wife, Olaife, speak with TOFARATI IGE about their marriage
How did you meet your spouse?
Woli Agba: We met at the venue of a church program. My group and I were invited to minister at a church in my wife’s school, Kogi State University.
Was it love at first sight?
Woli Agba: For me, it was love at first sight. In fact, it was marriage at first sight. On that first day that I set my eyes on her, I told her that she would be my wife.
Olaife: For me, it was not love at first sight because I didn’t believe he was serious when he expressed his mind. However, in a very short time, I discovered I had feelings for him hiding somewhere in my heart.
What qualities did you see in your spouse that convinced you he/she was the one?
Woli Agba: I saw a wife. I saw a perfect partner for me. She sings, speaks good English and she is naturally beautiful even without makeup and these are some of the qualities I look out for in a woman. I know God has a hand in it because I met her after a prayer retreat I had, and I saw a sign when I met her.
Olaife: I saw a focused man who made me happy. I laughed uncontrollably the first time we talked. I asked him so many questions and he answered all of them convincingly.
How did you propose to her?
Woli Agba: Like I said, it was marriage at first sight. I saw her in the midst of a crowd, but I singled her out and told her that she would be my wife. When our relationship clocked one month, I made a proposal to her to commit myself more to her and to make her believe that I was serious.
What was your reaction when he proposed?
Olaife: I didn’t believe he was serious about it because he started calling me his wife and said that we would get married from the first day he saw me. He had to persuade some people, that I don’t want to mention, to convince me that he was serious. When our relationship clocked a month and he surprised me with a serious proposal, I concluded that I had found my crown.
How would you sum your marriage experience so far?
Woli Agba: My marital experience has been so sweet. Although, I was initially scared of getting married because of some broken marriages I saw in my neighborhood, coupled with the fact that people told me that women change after they get married. However, our case is different, and I can boldly say that marriage is sweet.
Olaife: He has said it all. Marriage is wonderful; it brings peace, and is sweet.
How often do you quarrel?
Woli Agba: Sincerely, we hardly quarrel; it’s very rare. My wife is my friend and I always enjoy having her around me. We are free with ourselves and we gist about virtually everything; there’s nothing we don’t talk about. I miss her company and delicacies whenever I am not home. She knows what I don’t like and vice versa. She knows when to say sorry. I likewise make her happiness my watchword. We love to be happy.
Olaife: The chance of us quarreling is very slim because my husband is reasonably playful. I laugh uncontrollably at home every time as if I’m at a comedy show. He loves making the atmosphere lively. It’s not like we don’t get angry but God has always been helping us that occasionally when we have disagreements, it does not last long before issues are resolved.
Who usually apologises first when you have disagreements?
Woli Agba: She does actually.
Olaife: I do because whenever he is unhappy, the house would be boring. And of course, I am the lady, so even if I am not wrong, I would apologise for peace to reign.
How do you cope with your husband’s female admirers?
Olaife: During courtship, it was difficult for me but since we got married, I know I’m his wife, so I need not worry. And of course, he helps me by telling me about his admirers. I also pray for him.
Why do you think celeb marriages don’t often last?
Woli Agba: The only factor that destroys celebrity marriages is pride. If pride can be dealt with, marriages will last. Fame brings pride when care is not taken. The fact that the celeb is the talk of the town may have gone to his or her head and the spouse will likely suffer from it. A female celeb will have bigwigs in the society as fans, and this may make her despise her husband. Same goes for the man, because ladies would always flock around him. Pride would make him feel his wife would be the loser if she leaves him. However, humility will make the man ensure that he praises his wife and adores her when necessary.
Do you keep a joint account, and would you advise couples to do same?
Woli Agba: We don’t keep a joint account, but it’s not something that we cannot do. We are happy with anything we mutually agree to do. Having a joint account is not bad, but it must be a mutual agreement between the couple.
What pet names do you have for each other?
Woli Agba: She calls me honey.
Olaife: He calls me my wife, iyawo Ayo (Ayo’s wife) and honey’s wife.
Do you usually buy gifts for each other?
Olaife: Yes, we do that very often.
Do you regularly go on dates?
Woli Agba: My busy schedule has not given us the chance to do that as much as we would have loved to. But we take walks together in the evenings whenever I’m around.
What other things do you do to keep the fire of your love burning?
Olaife: We pray, and we talk to ourselves. We express whatever we have in our minds immediately so that it wouldn’t lead to bottled up emotions.
What is unique about your marriage?
Woli Agba: I don’t think there is anything new again. But all the things that make a good marriage reflect in our home. We are the final audience of ourselves. Anything we have discussed is settled in our minds. We don’t need to talk to any other person after we have discussed.
Can you recall the most memorable time of your marriage?
Woli Agba: Everyday is memorable for me. But one that stands out was the day I organised a surprise birthday celebration for my wife. I had to hide her family and friends at her workplace unknown to her before she got to the office.
Olaife: The most memorable time was my birthday surprise. On that day, I got a call from my boss that I should quickly report to the office; not knowing it was the handwork of my husband. He even dropped me off at the office, not knowing that he had planted my family and friends at one of the offices already decorated to surprise me.
What are the key ingredients needed to sustain a marriage?
Woli Agba: Love. Make sure the person you want to marry is someone you really love. Don’t manage to love anyone because makeup will not be on her face when you sleep and wake up.
Olaife: Couples must learn to understand each other. And communication is key; talk about everything even when it is not necessary. You should also enjoy each other’s company.
Does your husband partake in household chores?
Olaife: Though he is usually busy, but he does some chores partially.
Does he cook?
Woli Agba: Yes, I cook.
Olaife: Yes, he can cook water.
What advice do you have for intending couples?
Woli Agba: Marriage is a very wonderful institution which requires prayers. You need to be very sure God is leading you to marry the person you’re with. Open your eyes and don’t let anyone choose for you. No one will live with you both when you are married. Be very observant during courtship. If you cannot cope with anything during courtship, you would not likely be able to live with it in marriage.
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