Now that we’re paying N100,000, here’s what we must see at this year’s AMVCA

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The stars will have to come from home for this year’s ceremony

Africa Magic, the organisers of the annual Africa Magic Viewers Choice Awards (AMVCA), have announced that VIP tickets for this year’s event will go for one hundred thousand naira each.

According to them, the ticket guarantees them all-access to the Eko Hotel-held event. They say bearers of the VIP ticket will have unrestricted access to the red carpet, the main show as well as post-event engagements including an after-party.

READ: Recession hits AMVCA 2017: No hotel for nominees

That is no wahala at all. 100K abi? We will gather our life savings and pay it.

But these are the things we MUST see at the event after paying a whopping $195 for an awards ceremony in this recession.

1. We want none of those cocktail ish that normally precedes an AMVCA event.

That one that you people ask us to queue up and then your waiters hand us one glassful of Amstel Malta each. Nah!

What we want is a buffet of all kinds of Nigerian food. We do not have to wear ankara before we eat semo on that day.

Brenda Wairimu, Desmond Elliot, Uti Nwachukwu, OC Ukeje at a previous AMVCA ceremony. Credit: Various

2. Amstel Malta used to be your sponsors we know and you may think that you owe them some form of allegiance.

But not all of us are sold on malt drinks. You must have ALL kinds of drinks on display.

From Hennessy XO to Don Perignon to God’s special gift to the world, skoochies, no drink on the face of the earth should be unavailable at the event.

3. No stories. Kiss Daniel, Wizkid and Tekno must open the ceremony.

All three of them at once. Flavour must close the event. And for those who associate more with the old school, King Sunny Ade must be on the list of those to perform.

Tekno and Wizkid

4. If we arrive the venue before the time the show is advertised to start, it must start at exactly the time announced.

If we somehow fail to arrive the venue on time, the show must not start until we get there. We cannot miss a second of the show after paying 100,000.

Similarly, if during the event, we feel the need to use the convenience, the show must be halted until we return. Same applies if we have to put down our heads to respond to a chat, an SMS, email or a phone call.

5. There must be souvenirs for us to take home after the event.

We do not care one bit that this is not an owambe. We won’t go as far as demanding that an AMVCA trophy be included in the takeaway package we will be handed.

But there has to be something that will not make us weep about the amount we have paid when we get back to our homes.

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