By Amina Alhassan
Most relationships these days are based on monetary gains and both sexes are guilty of it. We have seen women who say when the money is no more there; they lose interest, likewise men whose wives are the breadwinners. Once she stops bringing the money, everything changes in the house.
A lady who prefers to remain anonymous shared her story. “I thought I used to have a problem but I see that most ladies also do it. Each time my man complains of lack of money, it annoys me and I lose all affection for him and sometimes I stay away from him. And when we finally reconcile (of course when he bounces back), he accuses me of being unfaithful and not loyal, saying I’m only interested in his money. He is not sure whether to trust me with marriage or not.”
Adenike Damilare, 45-year-old proprietor, advises that money isn’t the solution to everything in life. “There is nothing wrong in preferring wealth; the only wahala is that marriage is deeper than wealth. I will advice that she tries to see beyond his money. You can have both, it’s possible. But it’s an insurance to find a man you can stay with in poverty and in wealth. Every other issue is normal. No one knows it all. Anger, jealousy envy all are normal in a relationship.”
Lauretta Augustine, 39-year-old fashion designer, says, “I think we all have the right to make choices, we also have the right to endure the consequence of our choices. You want a rich guy? Fine no problem, wait for a rich guy. You get angry when your man is broke? Fine, that’s also your choice. There is one thing that is certain in life; we all have to face the consequences of our actions and choices sooner or later.”
Habeeba Jibrin, 42-year-old civil servant, believes that, “There is nothing wrong with wanting a wealthy man. The quest for a comfortable life is a valid one. You see marriage is something deep and meaningful. It can make or mar you, so you must get into it with your eyes wide open and ready to face whatever comes your way. Marriage is not for anyone who values money over and above loyalty, fidelity and family. I am sure that is where her man is coming from and he must be having a rethink about keeping her as a wife.”
Her friend Fadila Musa, 40-year-old nurse, agrees with her. “All aspiring brides must go into marriage knowing that anything about the circumstance of the person you are marrying can change at any time. You can marry a wealthy man today and he becomes a pauper overnight or you can marry a middle income earner today and he will become very rich tomorrow. Life is unpredictable. However, it makes sense to at least marry someone who can afford basic necessities of life and who can provide for your fundamental needs and that of your kids.”