The Diary of a Noble Self Employed Naija Dame. (12)

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Life is good, the slogan for the LG brand is so appropriate this morning. What makes life good you may ask, there is money in the account, I am eating what I want to eat and not what is available. I have banished beans from the house for now, beans reminds me of the period of lack. I am feeling particularly good this morning because of my Louboutin shoes.

I woke up three times to check the shoes, I cannot believe that someone like ‘moi’ can own this type of shoe, it means I have arrived. I must show them. I have been invited to a book launch. The person who wrote the book is amongst the movers and shakers of Lagos, even if we cannot shake yet, let us at least move.

I bought a car for the day, Discovery LR3 it’s good to have money o. money does answer many things. Getting back to the story on hand so I went to this book launch, as I stepped down they were taking my photograph, I quickly took on the role of a rich babe or dame in my case. I muscled my way to the front. The daughter of the Author walked my way, mind you she had seen the red sole and LV bag.

So she started a conversation with me, it was obvious that she had studied abroad, her accent was indicative of that fact, complex grabbed my whole, instead of answering her back in my usual way, I tried to speak ‘phone’ I sounded like someone who had taken abaliki yam, unfortunately I could not rewind and start all over again, I had to maintain the momentum. She smiled at me and swiftly moved on, she never came back again. I missed an opportunity of a life time. The lesson learnt when you try too hard, you fail.

Anyway that is her problem, not mine. Once I spotted a photographer, I had a ready made pose; I would arch my back and lift my leg, so they can capture the red sole. One of the photographers came round to ask me for my name, I was feeling happy that I would appear in print, then it dawned on me that he is going to Google my name and most likely it will not throw up anything.

To pre-empt things I decided to Google myself, I saw an image, ‘eewo’ I looked ugly, if I can say I looked ugly, you can imagine what others would think. I wondered immediately how I could delete that image online it was not befitting, the only other hit was my Facebook profile. It was clear I was a nobody, from my online footprints. I have to change that.

Before the end of the launch I saw the daughter walking my way again, I thought maybe I was not too bad, but alas no, I was blanked, she focused her attention on someone else, she stayed with her friend for forty minutes. I was looking as if she was going to look my way, unknowingly I started speaking in tongues, I did not realise the intensity of the tongues had brought on stares. Not a glance, no more acknowledgements. I was left alone deep in thought, silver spoon and plastic spoon are two different things, but you may say that they are both spoons.

The post The Diary of a Noble Self Employed Naija Dame. (12) appeared first on The Nation Nigeria.

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