Dr Ndidi Mercy Ofole, is the second female Sub Dean and the current Sub Dean in the Faculty of Education, University of Ibadan. In this interview by OYEYEMI OKUNLADE, she talks on what informed her career as Counseling Psychologist, the prices paid to be where she is and best way to tackle s3xuality and  social immorality.

What informed your career?

My career was ordained. Incidentally, I’m in a career that suits into my personality type. I have always liked a career that interfaces with human being. I never liked working in a career where I’m interfacing with files, compilation and computation. I have always had a zeal to engage in work that has to do with supporting humanity.

Initially, I had wanted to go into law profession as a young person, just like any young Nigerian. In my fantasy stage, I was overwhelmed with the attire, the outlook of the Law profession. As such, I desired that when I grow up, I would become a lawyer. My parents gave me all they could that was available to them at that time in terms of mentoring. But along the line, not that I was not academically meant to be a lawyer, but because the career guidance and counseling needed to be able to transit an individual’s  desire with his or her personality was lacking, that was how I became a counselor. However, I wouldn’t say that I completely derailed.

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Who were your role models?

I have many wonderful people along the line though not in my immediate family.  But I have always had role models around me. I cannot forget Prof. Charles Uwakwe who gave me reference letter for admission into the University of Ibadan; my supervisors at Masters level and mentors, Prof. Ajibola Falaye and Prof. Ayo Hammed.

Profs Oyesoji Aremu (Director DLC), Head of Department, Guidance and Counseling, Dr. Chioma Asuzu, Prof. Jonathan Osiki, and Prof David Adeyemo were my lecturers who also defined my vision. Kudos to the former Minister of Education and Aviation,  late Prof. Babalola Borisade, for his mentoring roles. The last but not the least is my Vice Chancellor, Prof. Abel Idowu Olayinka who provided enabling environments for me to excel in this career.

What are the prices you paid to get to where you are in your career?

The prices are enormous. The price of combining the home and that of being in men’s world is not prices of mean repute. You have to prove yourself that despite being a female, you have what it takes to deliver every service that is required.

Being a woman in this profession, you have to pay a lot because you wouldn’t leave the home front lagging behind. For instance, it is in record that I’m the second female Sub Dean in the faculty of Education.  Not that those that were before me did not have what it takes, it is just that it requires a lot of push and perseverance to be there.

Another price I paid is multi-tasking. One needs a lot of multi-tasking else, one side will be suffering. I still play a motherly role, making sure that my children are doing what they suppose to do in the society as well as your husband. Because of my career, my husband must not regret supporting.

It takes enthusiasm and God’s grace. In addition to these, your humility must never leave you. Your motherly role must never suffer. When the university was on strike for four months, I was combining the role of a lecturer and a janitor. If you don’t deliver, you are giving them opportunity to access womanhood wrongly. You must move weather it is raining or sunny. Interestingly, this is a position that is well contested; not one that is gotten on a platter of gold.

What is the most defining of your career?

That was leaving the National Open University to come to the University of Ibadan. It wasn’t very easy financially because I was a highly placed staff at the National Open University but I find the experience here worthwhile.

How are you combining career with the home front?

God first in whatever you are doing. Thereafter, as a woman, you must be focused. You must not be distracted by frivolities. The society has been programmed to pull you down. But most importantly, I have been focused and determined.  Another combination is the home support, having understanding. Thank God that over the years, my husband and I have built confidence and trust.

As the job demands, I communicate to him. I am also transparent to all stakeholders— home, office and also acknowledge contributions of colleagues who are supportive. So lucky I am because my colleagues love, support and believe me. That makes the job a lot easy

What do you think is the best way to tackle social immorality in the society?

Social immorality is increasingly becoming a concern to all stakeholders. As a parent, worker in the church and career woman, I have that concern too. For instance, in the previous generation, we used to think that going to church or mosque is the way out but sincerely it is no longer like that.

I have clients who confess that they meet their boyfriends in church. So when they tell their parents that they are going to church, they are permited.

It is a matter of concern but a way to counter these vices is through a genuine, effective child-parent communication. For instance, it is a level of communication that can make your daughter call you and say ‘what do you say if a boy, seven years older than you, is speaking to you concerning relationship?’

Parents need to build an effective parent-child relationship and that communication must not be too domineering. Some parent will say, we are communicating, but most times, we are the only one talking. We do not allow the other party to talk, allow your son or daughter to adduce reasons for their actions. Ask questions; why do you want this? Tell me the reason.

You must also ensure that s3xuality and its education are well discussed. A lot of parents still pretend; they don’t want to address the issue, especially Christians. A lot of parents believe in “my child cannot.” Who told you your child cannot? Ensure you talk about s3xuality as early as possible, you should give them scientifically accurate information about s3xuality and you must ensure that you point out the fact that s3xuality brings with it responsibilities, which is why they must abstain till marriage.

As an academic, who is to be blamed for the rot in the educational sector?

This standard of education that seems to be falling has two perspectives to it. The standard is increasing on one side and is falling at the other end.

The areas where we used to excel in previous generations  like spelling, composition and writing are where it seems to be falling. But in the other area, that is ICT, is now enhanced. People can now have ICT enhanced learning.  There are things this generation can do that my own generation cannot do. That means the areas where there are excelling is what we didn’t do well.

But I can’t use the yardstick of my own generation to measure them. The question should have been what is the nexus? What does their generation want? During our own generation it was letter writing and sending your letter via the post office, if their generation says message should be brief and they are doing it, who says the standard is falling?

What we need is to migrate to their generation whether we like it or not as parents and as lecturers. For instance, my children and I have a group chat, we joke, share moral lessons informally, and the like. We must meet them where they are. You cannot stay at home and shout about this generation. You must be proactive and meet them where they are.

There was a time we used to have counselors in schools but we no longer have them in most schools. What do you think is responsible?

Sincerely speaking, we still have counselors in schools. The issue is most of them are being bombarded with teaching responsibilities. The school management can be blamed. The management gives the counselors classes to teach. Some of them have a combined training so they can teach. In addition to this, some counselors need retooling. I addressed the issue in one of my papers. Things are not as difficult as it is used to be but a lot of counselors need retraining.

Give us further information about yourself 

I’m Dr Ndidi Mercy Ofole, a Counseling Psychologist by profession. I’m a University of Ibadan trained psychologist. I obtained my first degree in Counseling Psychology, Masters Degrees in Personnel Psychology and Counseling and Educational Psychology and a PhD in Counseling. I’m an expert in issues that have to do with counseling. I specialise in health psychology, health promotion, positive psychology and anything that has to do with school achievements.

Your advice for young people

Young people should not be far from adults. The youth of this generation fear mentoring because they want to enjoy a greater degree of autonomy. But there is a proverb that says “if you are not close to a person, you cannot perceive the odour.” Adults have a great deal of experience to give to the young ones, the individuals I mentioned to you mentored me. The first time I went overseas, it was my supervisor who put me through the phases and I was able to successfully apply and scale through. Adults can also be overbearing but we can always know those who can be mentored. If your gesture, body language shows that you don’t want to be mentored, they leave you. Also, they should never relegate the advice of parents and elders.

The most defining aspect of your career?

My supervisors at Masters level and mentors Prof. Ajibola Falaye and Prof. Ayo Hammed. Profs Oyesoji Aremu (Director DLC), Dr. Asuzu (HOD Guidance and Counselling), Prof. Osiki, and Prof Adeyemo were my lecturers who also defined my vision.

Kudos to late Prof. Babalola Borisade (former Minister of Education and Aviation) for his mentoring roles.

The last but not the least is my Vice Chancellor, Prof. Abel Idowu Olayinka who provided an enabling environments for me to excel.

I have two Masters Degree. Masters in Personnel psychology and Masters in Counseling Psychology.

letter for admission into University of Ibadan. This concludes the first sentence

For instance, when I got to Ibadan, I started meeting people like the  present Vice Chancellor of the University, Professor Abel Idowu Olayinka, who since I came here has been supportive by making work condition pleasurable. Also, the present registrar of National Examination Council (NECO), Professor Charles Uwakwe, who assisted me get admission into the department. After him, I started coming across role models like Professor Olumuyiwa Falaye, who incidentally was my supervisor.

I saw them as well achieved and keyed into their vision to know what it is to be a self accomplished Counseling Psychologist. I cannot also forget former Minister of Health late Professor Professor Iyanda Aborisade, who also supported me by being instrumental to my career transition from National Open University (NOUN) to the University of Ibadan. I credit him for believing in me and making several opportunities available to me.

In the first instance, I didn’t start with my VC,  I started with Prof. Charles Uwakwe who gave me reference letter for admission.

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